- My Dessert Line is on sale everywhere for only $5.00 because it tastes and smells horrible; it gives people head-aches and makes their tongues numb. Good thing they didn't even put my name on the bottles and containers; phew...
- My little sister got a nose-job and looks hot now; everyone is looking at her and I have to borrow her clothes just to look cool.
- I lost my husband and had to create a scandal surrounding John Mayer just to get attention.
- I have to wear the most uncomfortable boots all the time and my feet hurt. Oh, don't forget my clothing line that went south; life really sucks for me.
- My new album, "A Public Affair" isn't doing so well; it's already on sale at Amazon.com; I just suck.
God Bless, Y'all!